La Mula

Chief Land Vehicle, Lobster Bob's Scenic Tours

The Honest Partner

Jeep. Heavily modified. Some modifications are intentional. Running. Barely. Triumphantly.

Fleet Vehicle

Venezuela

All Ages

The Honest Partner

La Mula's Story

La Mula is the Land Frontier vehicle, and she is the most honest thing Lobster Bob has ever owned. Her name means The Mule. Stubborn. Reliable. Goes anywhere. Never thanks you. He bought her in Patagonia for one single crossing and meant to sell her at the other end. That was eleven years ago. She is still here.

She does not flatter. She does not rush. She does not care what you think of her. Lobster Bob has come to believe this makes her more trustworthy than most things with a pulse. She has broken down on four continents and come back from every one of them.

A Life in Service

La Mula spent her first decade in the oil fields of the Orinoco Basin in Venezuela, running supply routes between drilling stations across terrain most vehicles would not attempt. She went through seven owners. Each one sold her because she was too slow, too stubborn, or cost too much to keep going. None of them were entirely wrong.

By 2012 she was sitting in a yard in Caracas with a cracked windscreen and very little interest in making a good impression. Lobster Bob found her in Punta Arenas in 2013, looking for something reliable for a single crossing. He found La Mula, which is not the same thing as reliable, but is, over time, better.

Connections

La Mula has had eight owners. Only one has never been
able to get rid of her.

Smooth white wave shape on black background resembling a flowing curve.

Concentric circles with alternating red and yellow colors forming a target-like pattern.

Person holding a colorful hang glider preparing to launch.

The Four Breakdowns

These are not mistakes to hide. They are four things La Mula taught Lobster Bob by refusing to cooperate at the worst possible moment.

On Patience

The naming

Six weeks after buying La Mula, Lobster Bob decided against all available evidence that she was ready for the Sahara. She refused to start at four in the morning, ninety-three kilometres from the nearest settlement. He spent two hours under her in the dark trying everything he knew and several things he did not.

At six in the morning, with the sun coming up, he sat back against the front wheel and said out loud: "You are a mule." She started on the next attempt. He named her immediately. He has never been sure if the two things were connected. The uncertainty is the point.

Lesson:

"Sit with the problem before you try to fix it."

On Preparation

The evacuation

In the High Atlas Mountains the weather turned overnight and Lobster Bob needed to move his group before the pass closed. La Mula would not start. No mechanical explanation.

The group walked eight kilometres in freezing rain to the nearest road while Lobster Bob went back one final time. She started immediately.

He drove eight kilometres back through the rain to collect them. He said nothing to her. She offered nothing in return.

Lesson:

"The backup plan is the plan. Always."

On Confidence

The Namibian riverbed

A dry riverbed in the Namib turned, with no warning and no record on any map, into a wet riverbed. Lobster Bob had told La Mula the crossing was manageable. She went in because he told her to. She came out the other side.

He came out with a significantly revised understanding of what manageable means on terrain he has not personally crossed before. La Mula offered no opinion. She simply crossed.

Lesson:

"What you think is manageable and what is actually manageable are not the same thing."

On Asking

The oxen

In the western Amazon, on a road that was more aspiration than infrastructure, La Mula sank to her axles in red clay mud and declined to come out. Lobster Bob spent four hours trying every method he had. None worked. He walked three kilometres to a farm and came back with a farmer, two oxen, and a length of rope.

The farmer looked at the situation for thirty seconds, named a price, and had her out in eleven minutes. Lobster Bob paid, and thought about it for the rest of the week.

Lesson:

"Ask for the right help. Ask for it early."

The Turning Point

Lobster Bob has tried to sell La Mula three separate times. On each occasion, something happened before the sale was done. Twice she ran perfectly for the whole week before the buyer came to look at her. Once the buyer simply cancelled.

He has not tried again. He has been heard talking to her when he thinks no one is listening. What he says is not on record.

The lesson La Mula taught him, slowly, over eleven years and four continents, is the one he passes to every hero: the honest partner is worth more than the easy one. She has never once failed to get him there. She has, however, been very selective about when.

"She has never once failed to get me there. She has, however, been very selective about when."

_{- Lobster Bob}

What La Mula Does
Every Day

She refuses to start in the cold until she decides she is ready, whatever the schedule says.

She runs perfectly at altitude and in heat, the two conditions nobody expects.

She makes a specific sound on right turns that Lobster Bob has learned to read, though he will not say which sound means which outcome.

She has broken down on four continents and never once in the same place twice.

She accepts repairs with no gratitude and breaks down again somewhere completely new.

She starts immediately after any conversation in which Lobster Bob has accepted she is not going to start.

What Lobster Bob Says About Her

Eleven years. Four continents. Three failed attempts to sell her. These are the only words he has managed that come close.

"She is not beautiful. She is not fast. She has never once cared what I think. In this way she is the most honest vehicle I have ever owned."

"I have tried to sell her three times. She always knows. I do not know how she knows."

"She has never once failed to get me there. She has, however, been very selective about when."

The Maasai herder who fixed her with a rope in the middle of nowhere charged me twice what the rope was worth. I paid it. I would pay it again. La Mula would charge more."

Blue and white striped hot air balloon with an orange basket.

Blue and white striped hot air balloon with a brown basket against a white background.

Role In Lobster Bob's Scenic Tours

La Mula is the Land Frontier vehicle. She carries Lobster Bob through mountain ranges, across deserts, into jungles, and along coastlines that no other vehicle would attempt. She has been through the Amazon twice, the Sahara three times, the Atlas Mountains, the Scottish Highlands in November, and a dry riverbed in Namibia that was not a dry riverbed. She has come back from all of it.

She is not a comfortable vehicle. She is not a fast vehicle. She is, however, the only vehicle Lobster Bob trusts on terrain that has no margin for error. The distinction matters more than the comfort.

Rating

Lobster Bob's official rating

9/10

One point deducted for the Namibia incident. La Mula is unaware of this deduction. She would not care.

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